Last night, I watched a movie based on the life of a twelve years old girl who was abducted during the tribal wars in Sudan and sold to a family as a slave. The account of her life was a statement of how most wars are originated from human’s reaction to differences and their fear of the unknown.
Difference are usually the subject of resentment and prejudice in most societies and there is a good enough reason for that: we are scared of change!
One thing is for sure: most people are more comfortable with what is familiar and feel more safe around people who are not too different from them. Human nature doesn’t like change. Change means entering into the realm of the unknown, which invokes fear and insecurity for most. We like to stay in our comfort zone because we feel safe and we know that zone so well.
Are you someone who is trying to find commonalities in others? Or, are you someone who is curious and enjoys learning about differences.
I should confess that my point of reference was always the commonalities. I was comfortable around those who were thinking and living like me because it was familiar. To me, those who were not really like me, were “different”. I couldn’t make sense of some people’s attitude and actions around me. My limited and restricted perspective labeled them as “too different”. Some others were just my opposite.
I couldn’t make sense of some people’s behavior and some others were making me mad or disappointed. I was judging them as incompetent or not intelligent enough.
I remember even thinking that some people CHOOSE to act and behave “inappropriately”. As a result of my small window of perspective, I created a lot of stress, emotional set backs and disappointment in my life.
A few weeks ago, I read an article in Quora by a Harvard graduate describing a chaotic world where everyone looked, thought, acted and felt the same. He showed how “we wouldn’t be able to tell each other apart, we would all react to everything the same way. If one thing angered all of us, there would be an unstoppable mob of people.”
I can also imagine if we were all the same, there would be no need to exchange ideas or listen to others as there would be nothing to discuss or learn. There would be no reason for us to meet and get to know new people. There would be nothing attracting us to others.
Our world would be a colorless, flavorless and boring place to live. Our life would become devoid of any type of excitement. We would never want to explore any part of the world because there would be nothing new or exciting to explore and enjoy.
What a nightmare this world could be!
So why are we still trying to commoditize and homogenize our world into a colorless and flavorless society? Why aren’t we able to see and appreciate the differences in others?
And more importantly why are we dimming our own light by trying to please those who want to change us; those who want to feel safe by seeing themselves in us?
To be honest, I believe the main reason is that we don’t know there is a science behind these differences. There are different personality types and people communicate differently for a reason.
Most of us don’t know how to communicate or connect to others because we only know one way to communicate and that is our own way. We see people through our own lens.
The reason we can’t get our message across to other people is because we communicate information the way we want to receive it and not the way our audience likes to receive it!
It was only after I took the Maxwell Method of D.I.S.C. behavioral assessment that I realized I was blind to different personality types. I learned how people communicate differently, and how their individual personality style affects their interaction with others.
Most importantly, I learned about my own strengths and weaknesses. I learned my own communication and behavioral style.
When we recognize our strengths and weaknesses, we are able to give our best to people around us. We also learn that everyone we encounter is motivated differently, communicate differently, and views tasks and relationship differently.
I wish I knew much earlier that there was such an easy way to learn how to communicate with different people with different mentality and personality types . I wish I knew there was a reason and science behind the way people do what they do.
The Maxwell D.I.S.C Method is saving interactions. It is an amazing tool that can help us get rid of the guess work and instead equip us with great understanding and expectation of people’s behavioral patterns and habits.
God has created each one of us differently. We are designed to add to the color of this beautiful tapestry, which we call our world. We need to be different from one another, with different beliefs, different ideas, different manners, and different lifestyles to make this place we call home an exciting place to live.
It is only by being true to our uniqueness that we can fulfill our potential and acquire what is rightfully ours in this life. It is by appreciating the differences in others that we can create the light that enables us to see the colors and beauties all around us.
John Maxwell, my mentor, an expert on personal and professional leadership and the author of over 120 books, says “people don’t care how much you know, till they know how much you care”. While we can’t really learn to care, we can decide to become more caring and understanding.
When we learn about other people’s different personality styles and perspectives and respect and accept them, we build trust and mutual respect in our relationships.
I highly recommend everyone I know to take the Maxwell DISC Assessment. It not helps us to learn about our strengths and our struggles but it gives us efficient and effective recommendations to utilize or improve them when socializing with different personality types. Better yet, it recommends books from John Maxwell’s teachings, specifically customized to our needs.
It helps us to accept who we are. When we accept ourselves, we will be more likely to improve what creates problem. When we accept ourselves, we will be kinder to ourselves and we will be more likely to get out of our comfort zone and make some changes. When we accept our own flaws, we will be kinder to others and tolerate their shortcomings.
The Maxwell Method of D.I.S.C. will not only expand your awareness to accept your uniqueness but it will help you to relate, understand and connect to others.
Let me know to take the D.I.S.C. assessment and/or set up your DISC workshop. It will take you less than 10 minutes to receive 31 pages about your communication and personality style and a lot more on how to communicate with other personality types the way they prefer.
This decision could be one of the best new year resolution you have ever made.
The Center for Youth Leadership 