We all have goals and dreams and we often talk about them. Maybe we opt for a more quiet style and keep our desires to ourselves and just casually express them with a nostalgic tone. We sometimes wonder why we can’t live the life of our dreams and relate it to bad luck or misfortune. But honestly, why most of us are stuck and can’t make our desires a reality?
We probably all heard about SMART goals. Our goals should be specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and timely. We know systems can help us get organized in mind and in our environment and we know we need to record our tasks on our planner or to other systems, like electronic calendars, to remind us of what we need to do. We know we need to prioritize our tasks in the order of importance and do things that are our strengths, when we are at our best during the day because some of us are morning birds and some others night owls. We also know we need to break down big tasks into small and doable milestones and put them in our calendar or planner and chip at them everyday until they are completed.
The problem is knowing all the above tips and technics doesn’t guarantee that we would follow them and we would achieve our goals. There is a huge gap between knowing and doing and we don’t do a lot of things we know.
So, how can we make sure we use what we know to follow the steps and reach that goal or dream that we are longing for? What should change?
The simple answer could be that we are behaving by habit and of course we can not get a different result if we keep acting by default. What we need is a paradigm shift in our thought patterns that create our behavior because our current paradigm is not harmonious with our dreams. We are always pulled toward the familiar. So, we need to take a different path, feel and think and act differently.
But this change doesn’t always come easily. There are three major obstacles that we encounter when we decide to do things differently:
1- We are postponing the time to do it or get distracted by our day-to-day life.
2- We are fearful of the potential risks ahead or don’t trust the future.
3- We don’t trust ourselves or deep down we think we are not worth our desired life.
When you start to do things differently, your paradigm becomes uncomfortable and tries to pull you back to your old habits and thought patterns just because it doesn’t want to leave you. It tells you that you don’t deserve your dreams to come true or it will scare you of the unpredictable or bad outcome. Therefore, for the paradigm to change, you need to allow yourself to be uncomfortable.
The key is to remember who you really are and what you can do. You should remember by changing your thoughts, you can and will change your life. You will remind yourself as Wayne Dyer always said, “if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change.” You remember that you are a divine creature and God has created you to be unique and capable of creating your own destiny.
Bruce Lipton, an American developmental biologist best known for promoting the idea that genes and DNA can be manipulated by a person’s beliefs explains: “Not surprisingly, these self-sabotaging programs also thwart us as we try to change conditions in the world. This insight tells us that before we go out to change the world, we must first look inward to change ourselves. Then, by changing our beliefs, we do change the world.”
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Therefore, you have to put your foot down and not allow your comfort zone to trick you back. You need to decide to start doing what you always wanted to do now by making a schedule of actions to do today, tomorrow, next week, etc. and actually start doing it. It doesn’t matter how big or small your steps are as long as they get you closer to your goals.
By doing something everyday to get us closer to our goal, we will find the momentum and then by persistence and commitment, we will get to the arrival point.
Our goals can be achieved easier by eliminating the nagging voice of old habits and internal dismay. We should learn how to effectively set goals, be committed and then take action and last but not least not forget to stay in harmony with our true self which is capable and strong by nature.
The Center for Youth Leadership 